Hey, look, I’m not trying to start a culture war here. I realize I just went after designer purse rentals, and after this I’ll turn my attention back to affordable absurd items for a while, such as pre-made pb&j’s.
But it’s hard not to comment when you get an email that tips you off to the kids section of eluxury.com. Granted, a website called eluxury.com is sort of fish in a barrell for me, but considering that I have a child and was not aware that you could spend $130 for a onesie, I thought it was worth the mention.
The following explanation is more for people that don’t have kids — parents, nod along. A onesie is an article of clothing that your newborn or infant will wear for about eight weeks. Maybe twelve, if yours is a slow grower. It will be stained the first time it is worn, by any of a number of fluids or materials. It will be spit up on, puked on (nonparents, there is a difference), spilled on, drooled on, leaked on, and so on. Does that sound like the sort of thing you’d go over $20 on?
Hey, no need to bronze them, I guess
There’s also $175 sneakers for your bundle of joy, mostly notable because in a size 0-6 months, there’s no chance your child will ever walk in them, or even stand upright for that matter. Thanks again, Baby Dior. At least you’re less than half the price of a $550 Fendi Bottle Carrier, which is exactly what you think it is.
Moms, your child is not your guest room. Don’t decorate it as such. Dads, here’s the thing you have to keep in mind. If you start your daughter off with $130 outfits and $175 shoes, how much is her wedding going to cost you?